Ross: So, uh, what did the insurance company say?
Chandler: Oh, they said uh, "You don't have insurance here so stop calling us."
Chandler: I got her machine.
Joey: Her answering machine?
Chandler: No. Interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up.
Joey: Hey Gunther, have you seen Chandler?
Gunther: I thought you were Chandler.
[Joey looks disturbed]
Gunther: [motioning to Chandler] Um, one of you is over there.
Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider.
Chandler: Taste it.
Joey: [drinks from the glass and puts it back in the fridge] Yep, it's fat. I drank fat.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Joey: I can't believe Ross is going out with Rachel's sister. Ya know, when Chandler made out with my sister, I was mad at him for, like, ten years.
Chandler: That was five years ago.
Joey: I know. You got five more years.
Joey: You want to make it six?
I'm in a bit of a rubbish mood so though I'd post some quotes to cheer myself up :D post some quotes everyone. x
What episode is it with Pheobe's creepy picture, Gladys?
Pheobe: We were playing Chess on the frozen lake, and you took off your ski mask and you were Cameron Diaz!! Ok, there is a chance this could have been a dream.
Ross: Someone at work ate my sandwhich
Chandler: Well what did the police say
"Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says 'Jack Gellar, so predictable...' Maybe after I'm gone they'll say, 'buried at sea. hm.'"
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, and Rachel is entering still pregnant.]
Rachel: That’s right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Ross: Uh sweetie, maybe you’d be more comfortable here? (Gets up from the green armchair.)
Rachel: You. Like you haven’t done enough.
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses it’s the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, I’d be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room they’ve made with his arm and decides it’s not enough and they all move over again.)
Rachel: God. (Sits down.) I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life!
Phoebe: Oh I know, I’ve been there. I remember toward the end…
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, that’s a great story. Can you tell it to me when you’re getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Chandler: Let’s. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel’s, Joey is at the counter eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.]
Joey: (thinking) All right. It’s a new day. All that stuff about Rachel, you don’t feel that now. It was crazy! You’re fine. You’re better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat! Everything’s normal! She’s just your friend Rachel! Your friend Rachel. Your friend! Rachel.
- - - - -
[Scene: Joey and Rachel’s, Joey is sitting at the counter eating Cocoa Puffs.]
Joey: (thinking) All right. It’s a new day, and it’s just a crush, that’s all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everything’s going to be fine. It’s just a crush.
Rachel - "Just so you know, it's NOT that common, it DOESN'T happen to every guy and it IS a big deal!"
Chandler - "I KNEW it!"
Ross: Hey Joe did, did you ever have a threesome?
Joey: Well uh .. look Ross I uh .. I think Carol’s great and I’m sure you’re a very attractive man, but I ...
Ross: No! The reason I’m asking is that ... I sorta had one last night.
Joey: All right! So, was it amazing?
Ross: It was ... okay.
Joey: Just okay? Did you do it right?!
Ross: Look, it’s just; did, did you ever go to a party and think, "Would anyone really miss me if I weren’t here?"
Joey: Huh. But still Ross, you’re worst day with two women, pretty much better than any other day! Y’know what I mean?
Ross: Oh-oh, absolutely!
(They both laugh.)
Ross: It’s just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, there was a lot of waiting around.
Joey: But you got to be with both of them, right?
Ross: No-not really. Th-there was just Carol.
Joey: Not the other one?
Ross: No, she kept kicking me away!
Joey: Yeah, you don’t want that.
Joey: Well hey, at least you got to see a lot of stuff, right?
Ross: Oh I got to see a lot of stuff!
Joey: You got a little bored?
Ross: A little. Yeah. I made a snack.
Joey: Yeah? What did you have?
Ross: Just a sandwich. Turkey, a little mustard ...
Joey: Sounds good.
Ross: It really was!
Monica: Oh my God Chandler! I can’t believe it!
Chandler: I know.
Monica: You gave my father a lap dance!
Chandler: Why do they put so much steam in there?!
Ross: ‘Cause otherwise they’d have to call it the room room.
Chandler: Why? Okay? Why? Wh-wh-why did that have to happen?
Phoebe: Come on, it’s not that big a deal!
Chandler: Not that big a deal? There…there was touching of things.
Ross: Now, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part?
Monica: Listen, I’m sure that dad doesn’t care. He probably thought this was funny; he’ll be telling this story for years!
Chandler: I don’t want him to tell this story for years.
Ross: Oh, but he will. He still tells the story how Monica tried to escape from fat camp.
Monica: I wasn’t escaping.
Ross: Then how did you get caught in the barbed wire?
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Ross: You were trying to eat it!
Monica: Well, I mean what about friends of your grandmother’s? Wouldn’t they have the recipe?
Phoebe: Well, y’know I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Tolouse.
Monica: What was her name?
Phoebe: Nesele Toulouse.
Monica: Nestle Tollhouse?!
Phoebe: Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language.
Monica: (grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips) Phoebe, is this the recipe? (Tosses her the bag.)
Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.
Monica: I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time!
Phoebe: I know! You see it is stuff like this which is why (Looking down) you’re burning in hell!!
Ross: Hey when you guys played "Happy Days" when you were kids, who were you? I was always Ritchie.
Monica: I was always Joanie.
Joey: Question. Was, uh, "egg the Gellars" the war cry of your neighborhood?
TOW The Racecar Bed